Sample poems from the collection:

Trade your Vespa for my loud parrot

It's time I thought about making some serious adjustments.

This morning I saw you riding by on that cool blue scooter

and imagined it hauling my old butt halfway back to youth.

So I've got this stupid, yellow-headed parrot, my old lady's

idea of an exotic pet, and I'm not sure she'd even miss it,

given that her own cawing and cackling fills the house

and if I give you the cage, two bags of food and my gratitude

who's to say it wouldn't be a square deal for both of us,

and I'd definitely consider throwing in my wife to boot.

Dad is a regular bird, wears pink

like it was a work-shirt, has a little

chip in his beak, probably a fight

The kids, Pam and Tony, lean back

on their sticks, flaunting gravity,

a little dizzy from staying out late

It's Mom, perfect posture curve,

thin neck like a swizzle stick, no

expression to speak of, stable,

makes the bullet hole in her side

all about questions I can't answer,

so come and get 'em out of here.

Those kind are just decorations

I don't need, and I'd sure trade

for a good dog or weed whacker.

He's been sleeping since early last evening

when he passed out in front of the TV

surrounded by empty beer bottles, smelly

clothes covered in a fine layer of Cheetos

dust. It's noon and still no signs of life.

I came back home for lunch and realized

it's time to put the boy on the open market.

Nice enough, but mostly worthless, won't

have his part-time job much longer, can't

hang out here any more. You might find

some use for him, maybe just decorative.

In my apartment he's just bad furniture

and I want to give my place a new look.

This is U-haul, no returns will be accepted.

He'll be outside on the curb, probably sad.